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Darlette Couldn't Forgive Herself

01.01.16 | Stories of Life Change

    I DEPENDED ON MYSELF

    As a young child I had someone very close to me take my innocence away. As a teenager and young adult, I looked for love in all the wrong ways and places. All my bad choices that I made, I blamed on what had happened to me.

    As I got older, I endured some really bad experiences and relationships in my life. I finally decided to take control of my own life. I wouldn't let what happen to me as a child ruin my life. I wouldn't blame my mistakes on someone else. I learned to love myself for the most part. I became a strong and independent woman, and it was all about me. I set out to make sure that I found someone to truly love me so I could be happy. Finally, after some years of trying to overcome the past and hiding all the guilt very deep inside of me, I found love.

    Before I gave my life to Christ, I thought my life was pretty good. I had a loving husband and two beautiful children. Our careers were going very well. Our social life was going out, often drinking too much, and basically living the way I wanted to live. I was living for myself.

    HE DIED FOR MY SINS

    I always believed in God. I believed Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I believed in the Bible, but picked and chose what I truly wanted to believe. I thought I had a relationship with God. 

    About four years ago, my mother called me to let me know that my sister-in-law, Karen, was in the hospital with Pneumonia. A couple of days later, we found out that it was cancer and that it had spread to her breast, lungs, and liver. I got on a plane that day to help my brother. Karen was the love of his life. He had known no other woman in his life. They were a match from heaven. They both showed very strong faith and lived for and served the Lord.

    As I watched my brother literally losing his wife to this awful disease, his faith stayed strong. In the chapel with his hand on the Bible, he said that this was what he and Karen had been teaching for years to their young children. He explained that the truth of who God is wouldn't change, despite their struggle, so he wouldn't question God or stop believing. I realized at that moment that I was missing something in my life.

    HOPE IN JESUS

    About a week later, I got the call that Karen passed away. I asked about my brother, and she explained that after she passed, he kissed her toes as he always did before he left in the mornings for work. I was shocked to hear that after saying goodbye, he started singing in worship to God and sharing the reason he has hope in Jesus to other people in the hospital!

    I knew at that moment what God wanted me to do. I fell on my knees and ask Jesus to come into my life. I wanted to feel him in my heart. It was just a natural thing to do. I felt Him guiding me, and I asked for forgiveness for my sins. I tried to confess every sin in my life. I truly felt like a new person, and like a new breath had entered me.

    I CAN NOW FORGIVE

    I still had a very difficult time in forgiving myself for some of the things that I had done, but after finding Village Bible Church, listening to the sermons, and reading the Bible, I finally got it! Jesus died on the cross for my sins. It is about God, not about me. I put my trust in God. I gave what happened to me as a child over to him. I gave all my guilt to him. I am His child and He loves me! There’s nothing like feeling His love for me. I’m not alone. God is my strength and happiness.   

    When I do fall short, I go to God for guidance, strength, and support. I read the Bible. I finally know what it is to have a relationship with Jesus and to truly open myself up to His incredible love for us. I now have faith and peace!

    A CHURCH HOME

    I’ve truly never trusted a church before. I trust Village Bible Church and Pastor Travis. I like that Village teaches from the Bible. I like that Travis has so much passion for what he is teaching and he uses his own life experiences. I have found a church home. You truly feel loved at Village Bible. Most importantly, the love for God and from God permeates through Village Bible Church.